Blog 17 Changes again, grade drops, living on my own

(Becoming self sufficient)

             As told previously, I had a girlfriend from my Junior and most of my Senior year. She was great. I was trying to be a very good boy, but things did happen with others. It was far and few between, but the guilt was daily. I was putting her on a pedestal so there were times I just had the urge like other teenagers. It was the year I lost my virginity with a female. But, I really did care for my girlfriend very much.     

        I gave her a promise ring and really meant it. But, I could not be true to her. I knew somewhere, even though I fought hard, down the line I was going to slip and I did. I prayed and prayed for strength, but the devil made it very hard. I kept wondering why I was put in this situation, even with God watching over me and had things in control.

            This was the year that my mom went into the hospital 32 times, and I was her fallback for taking and picking her up at the hospital. This created it hard to do my studies, swim practice twice a day, (and with dad working nights), feeding myself, as well as caring for Anthony. I was so close to Anthony. One night, coming back home from watching a football game in a full station wagon, I was trying to get Anthony to talk, I kept trying to get him to say Uncle Millard. Out of nowhere, and very clearly trying, he pointed at me and said, “Babasata” (babysitter). Everyone in the car heard him. That was the first word he had ever completed, even before “mommy”. I loved him like my own son.

           After Terri left, I leaned on my other friends. If felt easy to hide my true self, by separating my friends during the day. I had my school friends, my swim team friends, my scout friends, and such. By having no one really looking after me, I could come and go as I pleased. I had goals, but they were very hard to strive for when my entire week was set for me in advance.

(Surviving)

        When it came to my school, scouts, Explorers, and just daily activities, my dad was dead set to refuse helping pay for things. That included clothes, as well. Dad, every two weeks, would place lunch money for two weeks in a certain drawer, He gave us just enough to buy the basic lunch (only). He said that was all we needed. I realized that Darrell was taking more money than his share, so I would take my portion and pay for lunch passes because dad told us if the money was used before two weeks, we would go the rest of the time with no lunch. I had no choice but to do two things. First, I needed a job during school, and second, When dad would come home drunk, after he fell asleep, I would steal money from his pants. He always thought he drank more and that He spent the money.

                 I worked during Christmas season at Woolco at Big Town. I also worked at Dairy Queen and Jack-In-The-Box. I kept my lifeguard job every summer. I would buy my school clothes twice a year. Once, at the end of summer, and second, when I got my tax refund. Many times, I would have to use my money for food to feed Anthony. There were lots of times I would have Vienna sausages or potted meat for dinner. 

        With my mom being unable to work, she filed for social security in my 9th grade. She did not get accepted for two years. When she finally received it, they gave backpay to the date she filed. When you have children under 19 years old, the social security has to give the children compensation, also. So, Anna, Darrell and I received back checks, also. And Darrell and I received monthly checks until we turned 19, My checks were $ 75. This enabled me to stop working while going to school.

          My back pay check was close to $1600. Dad took all the checks and demanded that we sign them over to him. He would give us 10%. I refused to sign mine until dad agreed I could buy a car, and have enough money to participate in outdoor activities. I was very serious, and dad finally came to an agreement. I also made it clear that I got to keep my entire monthly check because I was taking care of myself. I won. But, he quit leaving us lunch money, too.

        I bought a 1965 Dodge Dart for $300. I had it for 3 years. I was so proud of it, even though it was 12 years old, ate gas and oil for lunch. But, it was mine. It could not be taken from me and I was able to get to the places I needed to go. I came and went whenever I wanted but I still had many obligations. No one ever forgets their first car.

(Losing Salutatorian)

        My Junior year classes were very easy for me. I had A’s in all my classes. But, in the second trimester, my mom pulled me out of class many times to take her, or pick her up, from the hospital. It was always during my 3-5 classes that this would happen. When I got my report card, I received 3 B’s, Like I said, I was definitely an A student. When I asked my teachers how I got B’s, they all replied that there was a rule that if a student missed more than 5 days in a class, they automatically drop a grade. Though I held it against her, I never told my mom that she cost me my chances for Valedictorian or Salutatorian (This may sound like an excuse, but it is the truth.) At that point, I took matters into my own hands. To me, mom was just a person in the house that needed attention and I was not going to let her tell me what to do on the days that she was at home and not the Hospital.

(I will try to finish High School in Blog 18, but this was when the fun began and I have many stories)

• 16th Oct 2017
• mylife
• 2 Comments
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