Blog 42 Attempting the Dating Scene Again

(Trying to date again}

My days as a sonographer were, once again, a blessing to me. But just before I was moved out of Nuclear Medicine, one of my last patients changed my life. She has given me permission to use her name. Joanne was being tested for thyroid problems. It was my rotation to do two weeks in the thyroid Nuclear clinic. While doing the opening speech to her, our eyes kept meeting. We were not suppose to fraternize with our patients, unless they made the first move.

I was in the office when a teenager came to the window and said, “My sister likes you. She is outside on the balcony and would like to talk to you.” I looked outside and it was Joanne. I asked for a break and went out to talk to her. It was not very long because of my break, and Joanne asked me if I was a Christian. When I said I was, she invited me to her church. I went with her the next Sunday, and I knew in my heart I was meant to be with Joanne, but not necessarily her church. I went that Wednesday night without Joanne knowing I was there. I sat in the balcony. No one introduced themselves, and few shook my hand.

I prayed to God that if this was suppose to happen, He needed to give me a sign because I did not want to be part of a church so large that they did not care for new people. I was quite wrong. I was about to get out of my chair to leave the service when a man walked past me, turned around and pointed at me and asked if I was in the military. He invited me to come back the next Sunday, but to stay after the service for lunch and volleyball with other military and single people. I did, and by that time, Joanne and I had already gone out on a couple of dates. The church had a military program to pick them up in the morning by bus, keep them there by feeding them, and then they were welcome to play games, watch TV, or even a small library that they could have some privacy and just read. This would keep them at the church for the second service, then any military members that had cars could take then back to their bases afterwards.

It was not long that I was asked to lead the military program because I loved meeting new people, LOVED playing volleyball and softball, I was not afraid to introduce new people to get them involved, and I had a large Thunderbird car that could get people back to their bases. We began going to Denny’s Restaurant after the late service and became a very large group of friends. Joanne would go to Denny’s with us which made it very special.

(Here comes the fight again about putting Joanne on a pedestal.)

After a few dates, I began having strong feelings for Joanne. We had wonderful dates, but at the end of the night, I could not get myself to get intimate more than kissing. I wanted our first time to be very special, even when Joanne would make it obvious she was ready to go to the next level. After about a year and a half, I gave her an engagement ring. She said yes and we set the date for the wedding to be August 17, 1985.

I was getting very excited about the wedding. I really thought THIS WAS THE ONE! I was back in church, not drinking, and during this time I was very faithful to Joanne. To have money to be able to go on dates, and to keep accounted of my actions, I asked one of the sailors that was trying to get off-base living to be my roommate. He was a great guy and a preacher’s son. I even asked him to be my Best Man. There was not any other person in San Diego that I could have done this with.

Returning back to church was great for me. I was totally involved. I was in the choir, sang solos, and even created a men’s singing group. I created an annual volleyball tournament with proceeds going to the military and singles funds. It came right about the time I was hitting bottom.

Joanne and I were very compatible. We enjoyed each other’s company, laughed at the same things, She understood (I hope), my obligations with the church and Navy duties. I tried to keep involved and still make room for her. (Which now I know I did not do well.) In my heart, I did not want to disappoint her. I joined the Radiology Department Bowling team to give her space. The one thing I had to know was that we would not smother each other. (BTW, our bowling team won First two times running, and I won High Handicap Series in the first season. I went from bowling an average of 135 to an average 185 score.)

Joanne and I were getting extremely close. She understood that I did not make much money, and never asked for me to push the limits. We found things to do that were cheaper, more special, and still a pinch of romance. Once she and I went to a fair. We spent a lot of time just people watching. We would just find a spot to sit and watch, making funny comments about their lives based on what they were doing, who they were with, what was probably going through their minds. We found ourselves laughing so hard. All the while, never making ourselves look better than theirs.

Joanne could look me in the eyes and we would connect and just know what the other was thinking. Sometimes I could see in her eyes that she felt last on my list on things to do, but I am sure that I made her feel selfish, which in truth she had every right.

(Blog 43– more about Joanne.)