Blog13A My entire High School Crush.

(The secret crush that never could come true.)

When I became a lifeguard at the swimming pool the summer between my 8th and 9th grade, I met a girl name Joyce-Marie that literally stole my heart.. She was very beautiful, nice, and her eyes and smile melted me every time I saw her. She was two years younger than me, so I never said ANYTHING to her. But I would let her and her friends into the pool for free.

I could not wait for summer every year, because I knew she would come swimming. What was my problem that I could not tell her how I felt? Well, Joyce became very popular and, of course, I was type casted in another cliché. I felt that I did not deserve her attention. I thought that if I tried to show my affection to her, it would become a joke at school. BUT, at the pool in the summer, I had a better chance to talk to her without ridicule from others.

The summer that I was going into tenth grade, and Joyce was going into the eighth, Joyce was becoming more beautiful, friendly and popular. I decided that this was my only chance to see how she felt. So, at closing time for the pool, we crossed paths on our bicycles in the park and stopped to talk.

This was the time to ask Joyce to go to Six Flags with me. As a lump came up my throat, I said, “Joyce, would you go to Six Flags with me?” To my surprise, she said, “Yes!” I WAS IN HEAVEN! But about a few days later she came to me and said she could not go.

Very hurt; and I assumed her friends talked her out of it, I cold not even ask why. But, it was when we began talking on Facebook a few years back, Joyce told me that it was because she was only an 8th grader and her DAD said no.

Over the last two years of my high school, Joyce just kept becoming more popular, as well as, being picked into our Most Beautiful category and I never told her how I felt at that point because I convinced myself that I was out of her choices. I remember always being smitten every time she passed by or talked to me. I look back now and often wonder what Joyce would have said, had I told her how I felt? I do know now, that it is far too late to find out.